Supermarket Sweep

There's nothing quite like going for a boring old food shop when you are in a new city. I was excited from the first day in the supermarkets here in Berlin. Mainly because everything is so incredibly cheap. Supermarkets here have reduced overheads to such an extent that I really wouldn't be surprised if next time I go in the turnstiles someone hands me a bucket and mop with the words, "C'mon, get cleaning".

Its now high-time I had a little bit of a sweep across the various options in Berlin for you. Here goes.

"Netto" on Prenzlauer Allee
The big Scottish dog from Denmark is celebrating 20 years of existence this year. I've actually done a full week's shopping in here for less than 15 Euros. The place is super cheap... and their cut price special homeware items are legendary. Spotted last week: shisha waterpipes, two for one.

"Norma" on Brunnenstraße
Not just a great name but also a fantastically random shop set-up. Halal meat section AND two rows of high octane alcohol right next to each other. The main challenge with shopping at this location is trying to get down the first aisle. Often it's just a pile of crates, or a delivery that's waiting to be put on the shelves. Sometimes it's just a huge oven with a bread roll on top. I am still to find anyone working here actually called Norma. That would be my dream.

"Intermarket Stolitschniy" in Lichtenberg
Russian food and lollies for the connoisseur. Not particularly centrally located, but the trip out to Lichtenberg is definitely worth the effort. This place is Berlin's top address for tinned Soljanka - and tinned food of all types, to be honest. Very reasonable prices on offer considering most of the stock has to be shipped in 1500 kilometers from Россия. Do not offer to pay for goods in roubles - this is considered poor form. Bring your own trolley.

"Galeria Kaufhof" at Alexanderplatz
You've always got to be a bit suspicious when your supermarket shares floor space with jewellery and handbag sales counters. This store is actually part of the Kaufhof department store so it's not surprising to see that no penny has been spared here: oak shelves, a wonderful range of fresh fish and meats and one shop assistant for every half a customer. Obviously, prices are way off the scale.

"LPG" in Prenzlberg
The organic food location of choice for Berlin's hipsters. Making jokes about this place is just too easy. Um... organic Liquid Petroleum Gas anyone?

Caption competition

I regularly wonder whether people in Berlin are strange because they are here or whether they were actually always strange and therefore came here.

Today I couldn't help but notice a group of four locals standing on my favourite bridge linking the former east and west parts of Berlin, the Oberbaumbrücke. Three of them were tied up in flourescent orange sticky tape. The fourth member of the group had a clipboard in her hand and was asking her friends a set of questions.

Was this a psychology student with a twisted sense of humour? Or a market researcher determined to finally get some unrushed answers? Either way, I want some captions from YOU faithful readers.

The best efforts will be rewarded with a set of diamond stud earrings valued at over 40,000 US dollars and a Panasonic VCR player with the serial code removed. Don't ask why, I just need to get rid of them.

Integrate... NOW!

What with all this talk about integration these days in Germany, what better way to get to know your Berlin neighbour than host a cheeky little house party? Sure, doing the requisite pasta salad is a bit tedious by now and cleaning up afterwards is also a drag but.... it's all part of doing your bit for Völkerverständigung (now there's a compound noun for you). You never know, it could be even more fun than a TV debate on integration.

What's more, now that it's hit October those dark and dreary days are closing in - that's the sort of lazy soup that Berlin nightlife so thrives upon. And just around the corner: daylight saving comes to an end. Another bonus! Even more night time for your buck. Now there really is NO excuse.

Time to update the music collection and invite everyone over. Oh, and this track is a perfect way to get your guests in the mood. Everybody now: ich bin Ausländer, leider zum Glück!

After you sir!

Some enterprising young man has gone around my local area writing messages to the locals. The one above means "Yuppies out".

This sort of thing has quite a history in Berlin. I don't think there is any other place in the world where the locals dislike the people who've moved in to the city SO much and make a point of telling them about it SO regularly. From what I can tell it's nothing racial or personal. They just really don't want their local area to be infiltrated by people from outside. They are concerned that it changes the fabric of their "kiez", that it turns it into a ...


It's all a bit of a shame really. I always thought that all the different people in this city was the best thing about the place. Tolerance and acceptance of others - not really liking anyone, sure - but letting everyone do their thing. I'm from a long way away... and I'm not going anywhere. Not for the moment at least.