Old McDonalds

I seem to be running into a lot of children's zoos in Berlin lately. Not only did I have a work Christmas party at a children's zoo a couple of months back (as you do), but I also stumbled across one today at Mauerpark, on the site of the former Berlin Wall. Everyone here always says the little zoos are important so that Berlin kiddies get a chance to hang out with animals - otherwise they'd never get to know what goats and sheep really look like. Now, I don't recall spending my childhood rubbing shoulders with goats and sheep. And I survived. In fact by the time I was ten years old I could have happily told you the difference between a King Parrot and a Rainbow Lorikeet. Couldn't do that now... and neither could you.

Having well-rounded kids is all well and good you see, but I'm also a little bit concerned about the well-being of these urban animal performers. How does a goat feel, being gawked at all day and then petted until his horns start to hurt? Not good, I imagine, not good at all.

Just because you're a "hardy animal" doesn't mean you should be forced to put up with everything. The city does have a big zoo too you know. Kids can go there and see a whole bunch of animals, in a professional setting. These children's zoos seem to have a pretty meagre starting line-up too: a sulky-looking goat or two, a pony, some rabbits and a sheep. Well, that's not going to do it, is it? Kids today want the full entertainment package. A polar bear with a girlfriend or an octopus who tips football games - something with a little bit of pizazz. Bring back Knut, all is forgiven.

Like Berlin.... but such a long way away.

So I decided to take a break from blogging for a while. So what!? You survived, and so did I. And, what's more, the world is still turning on its axis.

Anyway, the break was long overdue - I was becoming jaded. After all, you don't want me to just show up here every Monday and write any old rubbish, do you?? So, I did what everyone does when they head off on holidays. I ended up landing in a place which kind of reminded me of the place I had just departed from.

My "this kind of reminds me of Berlin" location was Melbourne, in good ol' Australia. On first inspection the similarities seem clear - both places have pretty dodgy weather, are a bit graffiti-ed and run down and everyone in both cities thinks they are in some way "a creative". And architecturally, there are links too. Take a look at the two pictures below for instance. Which one is Berlin do you think?



See? You can't even tell can you??

Anyway, whenever Germans go to Melbourne they always tell me how "European" it is. I think that's a load of twaddle. Some Berliners will also go as far as to say, it reminds them of their own city. But, just for fun, let's see how Melbourne stacks up against the German capital on the big issues.

Dog Poo Levels
Berlin is the clear winner on this one. Melbourne residents don't seem to own many dogs per capita. And when they do, they clean up after them. That is just plain wrong.

Joggers
Pleasing to see that just as many people stay in bed on a Sunday in Melbourne as they do in Berlin. None of that mindless jangling while waiting for the walk signal to turn green - let the Sydneysiders do that. Split points on this one.

Trams
Melbourne just ahead on this count. Berlin is only half-covered in trams (only the Communist former east seemed to get into it), while Melbourne's trams are pretty regular and there is also a circle line to entertain the tourists.

Dodgy looking rivers
The Yarra versus the Spree. This was always going to be close. I wouldn't touch either river with a barge pole, but I suspect Berlin comes out with the nastier water quality. Another tick for Germany.

Mega-stadia
Two way tie. Melbourne's MCG might be more mega, but the Berlin Olympic Stadium seems to ooze a little bit more history.

Angry residents
I'm not sure that Melbourne really wants to compete on this one. But if they did, they would lose comfortably. The locals in Melbourne are very chatty and even friendly. No Berlin train conductor has ever answered a request with "too easy".

Conclusion:
Berlin is more Berlin than Melbourne. Scoreline is 4-2 to Germany, Podolski with the hattrick. It was bound to happen.

Gone fishin'

Euroblog's editorial staff have disappeared to somewhere warmer for a while, for what is now their traditional winter break. For us it's a time of personal reflection, inner sanctum and intestinal renewal. For you, it should be a chance to simply enjoy life again.

We'll be back on the 23rd of January with tales of yearning and disappointment from Berlin - BE THERE!!!!