Old McDonalds

I seem to be running into a lot of children's zoos in Berlin lately. Not only did I have a work Christmas party at a children's zoo a couple of months back (as you do), but I also stumbled across one today at Mauerpark, on the site of the former Berlin Wall. Everyone here always says the little zoos are important so that Berlin kiddies get a chance to hang out with animals - otherwise they'd never get to know what goats and sheep really look like. Now, I don't recall spending my childhood rubbing shoulders with goats and sheep. And I survived. In fact by the time I was ten years old I could have happily told you the difference between a King Parrot and a Rainbow Lorikeet. Couldn't do that now... and neither could you.

Having well-rounded kids is all well and good you see, but I'm also a little bit concerned about the well-being of these urban animal performers. How does a goat feel, being gawked at all day and then petted until his horns start to hurt? Not good, I imagine, not good at all.

Just because you're a "hardy animal" doesn't mean you should be forced to put up with everything. The city does have a big zoo too you know. Kids can go there and see a whole bunch of animals, in a professional setting. These children's zoos seem to have a pretty meagre starting line-up too: a sulky-looking goat or two, a pony, some rabbits and a sheep. Well, that's not going to do it, is it? Kids today want the full entertainment package. A polar bear with a girlfriend or an octopus who tips football games - something with a little bit of pizazz. Bring back Knut, all is forgiven.