Love bridge

If you've been following this blog over the last few months, you might think that Wessies are a bit too busy going after the benjamins to be worried about such financially non-viable options as "love". Personally,  I've always wondered how couples here, in the moment of passion, could ever tear clothes off each other if the man is wearing a suit waistcoat.

But a closer look at the Kennedy bridge in town suggests that the Bonners are a more romantic bunch than you might think. In an orderly way of course. Every 2 meters along the top of the bridge there are colourful locks attached to the bridge. The little cuties are engraved with messages like: "Annika und Paul 2010" or "Für immer und ewig - Claus und Una".

They are love locks of course - that oh-so-euro symbol of everlasting love. It all started in Italy, says Wikipedia, and quite frankly I believe them. I'm told it's also very big in Cologne to attach love locks to the Hohenzollern Bridge as well, even though it is against the law. Obviously the people of NRW are lovers, not fighters.

I think it's a nice gesture - but obviously people need to work on their relationship as well though. Simply buying and engraving a lock at your local hardware store isn't going to guarantee a happy partnership for life. Although it's a major step in the right direction obviously.

Also, the Kennedy bridge is a bit wind-swept and bleak for mine. There are solar panels running along the south side and there's a tram line too. In fact, if you stand on there long enough someone rams you with their bicycle - I've seen a couple of people get knocked clean into the Rhine already, not a pretty sight.

Personally, I would be looking to go for a slightly more romantic construction really. What about Heidelberg's Carl Theodor Bridge for instance?

German Federal Garden Show

Wow, what a headline! If this doesn't bring in the hits, I don't know what will!!! Things are really hotting up here in the west. Last weekend I hit up the German Federal Garden Show (known as BUGA) in Koblenz, with two of our interns here at just so euro. I had no idea really what to expect as I generally head to sports events on Saturdays, but it seemed cultural so I thought we should head along. (These young journos have got to have some sort of benefit out of this whole thing).

One thing I had definitely been expecting though were some great flowers. I don't know... purple dandelions, a bit of kangaroo paw action, tiger-striped lillies, blue roses, something out of the ordinary. Instead, there were basically no flowers or really any living plants of any type on display. What was going on?

It might have had something to do with the location. The event took place in the Koblenz city centre and up on the site of the Ehrenbreitstein Fortress, a dusty plateau covered in old ruins and gravel situated high above the city.  Not exactly the most lush, fauna-inducing locations I could think of.

There was one saving grace though. The two spots were linked by a brand-spanking-new Doppelmayr gondela which stretches almost a kilometre over the Rhein river. The thing must have cost the earth. On the other hand, this masterpiece of Austro-German engineering might explain the exorbitant ticket prices.

20 Euros was the damage incurred for a day of fun at the German Federal Garden Show. You could buy yourself a trip to Leverkusen for that much ...not that you'd necessarily want to go there... but still!

I reckon, if Germany wants to get people back in to flowers again they need to make garden shows more accessible. These sorts of events can't be just for the boat-shoe wearing elite, or the busloads full of OAPs from southern Germany. Everyone deserves to come into a flower show and have a bit of a gander around. Of course we at just so euro got in for cheap due to our connections with the chap on the side gate, but that's not the point.

Germany is losing horticulturalists BY THE DAY because of things like this. Look at this young wayward visitor.... He had even taken to planking out of sheer boredom. Shame on you Buga, shame!

What's that smell?

It's something that all Australians notice in the first 10 minutes when they land in Germany. I didn't want to talk about it, but I feel I have to. This is not something that can go unmentioned for any longer. In Germany, in summer, the sewers smell.

And the odour really packs a punch. Think: hungover dog eating egg sandwiches off his lap.

How can a country with high-speed trains that run on time, world-leading robotics and alternative energy technology, the birthplace of Eau de Cologne(!!!!)..... still stink as soon as the temperature climbs above 20 degrees? Especially here in the west. I thought everything here smelled sweeter?

I'm calling for a complete revamp of the nation's sewer system. Any political party who campaigned on this platform would get my vote immediately!

(If I was allowed to vote that is...)

Boaty-boaty boat shoes

What is Bonn's fascination with the boat shoe? This is something that has been annoying me from day one here. Well, actually, I didn't notice it right at the start. It was a gradual process.

The first time I saw my uni-student neighbours wearing boat shoes, I thought: "Ooh, how very ironic - nice touch".   Then, our Hausmeister showed up at my door in a pair. Maybe he was a sailor, I thought. THEN I noticed otherwise stylish young women wearing them. I had never seen this anywhere in the industrialised world.

Then I realised that my young neighbours weren't wearing boat shoes to be ironic. They had a number of different pairs of boat shoes - blue, tan, natural, green suede. But then, this took the cake: I caught a down-and-out chef out the back of my local Chinese restaurant wearing a scuffed old pair, smoking a cigarette while sitting on a beer crate.

My conclusion, after two months in Bonn: boat shoes have clearly permeated all levels of society here.

Why is this such a problem for me, you ask? Well, aside from the fact that I used to get beaten up at the age of 14 (ie. way back in the 90s) for wearing boat shoes because they were uncool even then, my concern with boat shoes is that it's a classic case of people trying to be what they are not. Undoubtedly, many people here like to row. But how many of them are really sailors? Not many, I would wager, considering that sailing on the Rhine really isn't that popular, and there's no body of water here for about 70 kilometers.

There are also other concerns, such as:
- wearing them without shoes makes your feet smell,
- wearing them with socks looks ridiculous,
- when they get wet they stay wet (and the leather stains your feet and socks brown),
- they are so mainstream that it is clear you are making no effort,
- they offer no support to your foot arch,
- they are overpriced,
- they are prone to falling apart, and
- they're not actually non-slip (even though that's their only selling point).

Not that I've ever worn them, of course.