Numbering Trees...

... is better than painting rocks. Well, only just. 

Since moving to West Germany's former capital, I have often wondered what the silliest example of bureaucracy would be which I could come across in this city. I believe this could be it.

That's right - these trees have been numbered. They form part of a long boulevard of trees beside the DHL tower which lead down to the Rhine River. All trees are numbered in ascending order as you head towards the water.

Perhaps the fauna was numbered as a precautionary measure following the recent incidents involving an elderly gentleman stealing lamp-posts and other street signage in the local area, on a bicycle.

All I can say is: thank goodness the Bonn authorities have got this under control. One less thing to worry about.

It's finally over...

Who would have thought seven minutes of video could be so taxing? Especially, unscripted video. But, I have to admit: it has been tough.

Not that Bonn has been an issue. She's been a perfect lady about all this. Every day a venue or story seemed to just be staring me in the face. And, I'm even prepared to say that I feel a closer bond to the city - who wouldn't, after a week of intimate videos together?

Looking at the commercial side of things: on average we've had 17 viewers a video. Not quite the numbers we or our sponsors were hoping for. Clearly, the project still needs time to achieve full acceptance with the audience. Still, I think this is going to take the world by storm. Payment for the series can be done by direct cash transfer to our office account.

So far, I've had one reader request to keep going with the videos - but that was "for the rest of my life" (no, it wasn't my girlfriend!). Otherwise, the overwhelming majority of just so euro readers have insisted that I stop the project immediately. Mainly because Youtube videos from the streets of Bonn just don't seem dramatic or newsy enough.

So, it's finally over. Or is it? One thing is for sure: we've done an outtakes video - c'mon you know you want to.

The "just so euro" Video Week

We promised it - here it is. The "just so euro" Video Week has begun.
Fun for all the family in 4:3 format for all our American fans.

Here's what's it's all about:



For all the updated videos click here or join us on Facebook.

Stopping Iran... in Bonn

The local Kurdish population got together last Saturday in Bonn to protest recent attacks by Iran on northern Iraq. The section of Iraq targeted in the July attacks was the Kurdish autonomic region, Iraqi Kurdistan.

It was a unique sight to see the protesters spread across Münsterplatz, the home of the famous Beethoven statue. It's not often that you see protests in Bonn - especially right in the middle of town like this one.

The latest big demo I can remember here was when locals blocked the Kennedy Bridge to voice their protest to nuclear power in Germany. Of course the numbers were huge then - over 10,000 turned out.

The anti-Iran protests last Saturday gathered together just a few hundred supporters. According to the website yekkom, Kurds number some one million in Germany. The group says that Kurds in Germany still struggle to be properly recognised as an official migrant group.

The attacks by Iran on the Kurdish autonomic region is a "developing story", as CNN would say. It certainly didn't get much coverage in western media over the recent weeks. Here is a small report from Al Arabiya for those that missed the story.

Love bridge

If you've been following this blog over the last few months, you might think that Wessies are a bit too busy going after the benjamins to be worried about such financially non-viable options as "love". Personally,  I've always wondered how couples here, in the moment of passion, could ever tear clothes off each other if the man is wearing a suit waistcoat.

But a closer look at the Kennedy bridge in town suggests that the Bonners are a more romantic bunch than you might think. In an orderly way of course. Every 2 meters along the top of the bridge there are colourful locks attached to the bridge. The little cuties are engraved with messages like: "Annika und Paul 2010" or "Für immer und ewig - Claus und Una".

They are love locks of course - that oh-so-euro symbol of everlasting love. It all started in Italy, says Wikipedia, and quite frankly I believe them. I'm told it's also very big in Cologne to attach love locks to the Hohenzollern Bridge as well, even though it is against the law. Obviously the people of NRW are lovers, not fighters.

I think it's a nice gesture - but obviously people need to work on their relationship as well though. Simply buying and engraving a lock at your local hardware store isn't going to guarantee a happy partnership for life. Although it's a major step in the right direction obviously.

Also, the Kennedy bridge is a bit wind-swept and bleak for mine. There are solar panels running along the south side and there's a tram line too. In fact, if you stand on there long enough someone rams you with their bicycle - I've seen a couple of people get knocked clean into the Rhine already, not a pretty sight.

Personally, I would be looking to go for a slightly more romantic construction really. What about Heidelberg's Carl Theodor Bridge for instance?

What's that smell?

It's something that all Australians notice in the first 10 minutes when they land in Germany. I didn't want to talk about it, but I feel I have to. This is not something that can go unmentioned for any longer. In Germany, in summer, the sewers smell.

And the odour really packs a punch. Think: hungover dog eating egg sandwiches off his lap.

How can a country with high-speed trains that run on time, world-leading robotics and alternative energy technology, the birthplace of Eau de Cologne(!!!!)..... still stink as soon as the temperature climbs above 20 degrees? Especially here in the west. I thought everything here smelled sweeter?

I'm calling for a complete revamp of the nation's sewer system. Any political party who campaigned on this platform would get my vote immediately!

(If I was allowed to vote that is...)

Boaty-boaty boat shoes

What is Bonn's fascination with the boat shoe? This is something that has been annoying me from day one here. Well, actually, I didn't notice it right at the start. It was a gradual process.

The first time I saw my uni-student neighbours wearing boat shoes, I thought: "Ooh, how very ironic - nice touch".   Then, our Hausmeister showed up at my door in a pair. Maybe he was a sailor, I thought. THEN I noticed otherwise stylish young women wearing them. I had never seen this anywhere in the industrialised world.

Then I realised that my young neighbours weren't wearing boat shoes to be ironic. They had a number of different pairs of boat shoes - blue, tan, natural, green suede. But then, this took the cake: I caught a down-and-out chef out the back of my local Chinese restaurant wearing a scuffed old pair, smoking a cigarette while sitting on a beer crate.

My conclusion, after two months in Bonn: boat shoes have clearly permeated all levels of society here.

Why is this such a problem for me, you ask? Well, aside from the fact that I used to get beaten up at the age of 14 (ie. way back in the 90s) for wearing boat shoes because they were uncool even then, my concern with boat shoes is that it's a classic case of people trying to be what they are not. Undoubtedly, many people here like to row. But how many of them are really sailors? Not many, I would wager, considering that sailing on the Rhine really isn't that popular, and there's no body of water here for about 70 kilometers.

There are also other concerns, such as:
- wearing them without shoes makes your feet smell,
- wearing them with socks looks ridiculous,
- when they get wet they stay wet (and the leather stains your feet and socks brown),
- they are so mainstream that it is clear you are making no effort,
- they offer no support to your foot arch,
- they are overpriced,
- they are prone to falling apart, and
- they're not actually non-slip (even though that's their only selling point).

Not that I've ever worn them, of course.

What is reality?

This is the question Bonn's students and thespians will be asking innocent passers-by this week. A series of quirky, ad-hoc performances called Reality Test will hit the streets of the city in an effort to challenge locals about their idea of reality. The whole thing is sponsored by Theater Bonn and the fringe ensemble.

The focus of the project is the "Test Centre" on Bonn's Market square. Each night up until July 2nd, live music, open-mic action and the much maligned poetry slams, are all on the programme here. Certainly the vernissage party thingo there went down well on Saturday night.

Sure... you could say this is another example of the fact that when you have a warm roof over your head and safe food on the table, you can worry about the more philosophical things in life. It's often the way here in Germany, hence the mountains of random euro stuff to have filled the pages at jse/Euroblog over the last five years. Sometimes it can be a bit lame, other times a bit too challenging: the main thing is, people are doing stuff. Living hand to mouth is just so out clearly. That's something only I do, I suspect.

Still, I'm a big fan of doing this sort of thing in Bonn. Especially if it makes old ladies - who would otherwise only go to Bonn market place to buy white asparagus - drop their groceries and FINALLY TAKE NOTICE OF THE CITY'S YOUTH!

Bon Bonn

We've received a lot of post this last week from people saying that we are being too mean to Bonn. That we are not giving the new location a decent chance. I accept that this may be the case. I will speak personally with the editors involved. Let's not forget though that "just so euro" is focused on coolness, and that therefore, on occasions, Bonn will come in for a slamming.

There are, of course, positive sides to Bonn - it's surprisingly international flair, it's wonderful outdoor lifestyle and "laast bat not leeest" (as the Germans would say) the wonderful Rhein. My way home from work runs right along the river, it's a real peach. Sometimes I just have to get off my bike and skim rocks at the freight ships. And take the odd photo as well.

You've got to pay that.

Street art, with training wheels

As I sat there on the balcony listening to my (grown adult) neighbours from the Bruderschaft singing along to Katy Perry, I got to thinking once again about the many differences between Bonn and my previous stomping ground, Berlin.

Of all the things that I miss the most from Berlin - from the cheeky radio stations to the tattooed mothers with biodegradable strollers - I would have to say that the lack of quality graffiti really is the biggest hole in my life right now. Take a look at the examples below:

Out of town sledge

This has been on the power box at the end of my street since I moved to Bonn. That's over a month! That is just not acceptable. You can't have people come to your turf and graffiti their love for a neighbouring city (and their football club, I presume) and then just let it stand.

If no-one tags over this in the next week, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands and get the spray cans out.


Too much time on his hands

This really is quite a nice piece. It's colourful, it's got presence - you can see the vandal is at least making an effort. But what is the treble clef for? C'mon man - what were you thinking? That could be the uncoolest thing I have EVER seen.

And how did you think that the copyright symbol in the bottom right hand corner was going to help things? I used to scrawl that sort of thing on my pencil case at primary school. I suspect that this graffiti was done by the shop owner's son.

Pool-time blackout

Normally in Germany, the changing room walls at the local pool offer a good insight into a region's graffiti. In Berlin-Kreuzberg, there are tags in Turkish, in Schöneberg's pools you see "personal ads" of all sorts of shapes and sizes(!).

Bonn's changing rooms seem to be covered with cave-man like attempts at graffiti. It would be different if the walls were shiny and bare. But this is like watching a group of kindergarten kids fill out tax returns. This one definitely caught my eye: what a catchy look!

Yo, where's the party at?

Sundays in Bonn really do not get very busy from what I can see. I have been looking out the window for the last hour and have not seen anyone move - aside from one guy going through bins looking for beer bottles. As for flea market action, that classic sunday German pasttime, the closest we get to Berlin's Mauerpark bun fight is this:

Today's computer market was just awesome. Can't wait for next week's reptile exchange.

As I have mentioned before, German law demands that most shops stay shut on a Sunday. This means I wasn't even able to head to the supermarket today and debate further whether I should buy some cucumbers or tomatoes. (For those that are wondering: I'm sticking with tomatoes at the moment, but am giving cucumbers a miss.)

Behind closed doors...

There seems to be a disproportionately high number of sensibly-dressed, well-groomed chaps wandering round the streets of Bonn's Südstadt district. Ever since I got here, I have been wondering what it's all about. I haven't seen men dress like this since "Beverly Hills 90210" went off air.

It seems that many of them are residents of the borough's frat houses. In my local area, they are mainly Catholic set-ups for the male university students of Bonn. Some of these fraternities are schlagende, that means that they like to do a spot of fencing. Often people get injured pretty badly on the face during the Mensur bouts, the injury is called a smite. These injuries are traditionally seen as a badge of honour. Not all colleges are like this - increasingly they are in the minority.

The fraternities have been a bit of a target for bad press over the years. Some are accused of having over-zealous nationalistic leanings, others of being misogynistic (anti-female). It's widely thought that members receive favourable treatment in industry and academic circles, after they leave university. Vandalism to the colleges occurs every now and then.

The fraternities say that their traditions teach character - and that they also make positive contributions to the local community. I think they could make a really strong contribution to the community by discontinuing their wearing of boat shoes. Where have you guys been for the last 15 years!?!?!?!

Bonner Republik

So, we're bäck - this time from Bonn.

After receiving plenty of (occasionally threatening) fan-post asking us to keep Euroblog going, I've summoned up the courage to write my first entry. The new location will make things a bit challenging at first. The thing is: the team here at Euroblog always prided itself on giving you "the word on the street". We're not really sure we've found the word on the street here in Bonn yet. But we're trying.

In my first few weeks here I've noticed a lot of people wearing boat shoes and sports jackets, been a bit disappointed in the lack of decent graffiti and have been fascinated by the huge number of people jogging. I've also been going to work a lot. It's been like moving life forward 25 years. Except no-one has a flying car.

I think the interesting thing about Bonn is it's strained link to the past - and that will probably be a bit of a theme for the blog-o. You can sense that people here are STILL cheesed off about giving up the capital to Berlin in 1990. Day by day their old West German capital is disappearing.

Take the Bonner Republik for instance. This restaurant, situated on Adenauer Allee, used to be a real haunt for politicians and hot-shot journos in the old days. Now, the owner is selling his historic inventory and changing the name and concept of the location. The old ministry signs hanging on the wall are now for sale, the embassy gifts are going for a steal. Just drop by and name your price.

A little piece of history making way for dark-wood panelling, flat screen TVs and cut-price cocktails? Let's hope not.

This website has moved.

After five years of writing this blog from Berlin - for neither fame nor monetary reward - I have now finally moved on. I now live in Bonn. It's warmer and more pleasant (but that wasn't hard), but the question people keep asking is: "yes, but what about its coolness?".

If you would like to see Euroblog continued from the new location, then let us know with a comment. If you'd like to see it stopped, then we'd also like to hear from you. Or what about a name change? Let us know. If you couldn't care less... then why did you read down this far?

Ode to "the Crazies"

My number of remaining days in Berlin is coming down into single figures. So, it's only right that at this juncture I take time out to thank the fantastic mix of "crazies" (Ger: Spinner) that make this city what it is. There's a guy that lives near us that always writes messages about ravens. I really don't know what he wants to tell us. Here's a translation of his latest poem:

Gondel Gukolya Abraxas

In April/May 1993 I found a half-dead "raven",
because of my nut tree which is not allowed
to be harvested. But then it was!

I have a sneaking suspicion there could be a hidden sexual or political reference in there somewhere. Any help you could give me would be much appreciated.

Of course the personal stories of these people are often sad ones. Their behaviour may be because of earlier (or ongoing) drug use or alcoholism - their lives may well have been spent mainly on the streets. Most visitors to Berlin will have seen them in the train, just circling the city on the Ringbahn spouting wisdom to anyone who cares to listen. After five years here, I still always just stand up and move off when I feel my personal space is being encroached upon. I really must try to talk to one of them one day. Schwach von mir, sehr schwach.