Kaffee Burger

Just the other day I headed around the corner to one of the city’s favourite East German retro locations: Kaffee Burger. Yeah, you probably know it. If you've stayed in Berlin for more than two nights you definitely do. If you somehow missed it, then there's no other way around it: you're going to have to come back.

It’s not a Café at all of course. It’s a unique hovel of original retro furnishings and papier-mâché walls, with all the trimmings. It’s a club and a bar all in one – but it’s not like any of those horrible big places that you are thinking of called “Melt” or “Liquid” or whatever. It’s a genuine former East German bar to start with and there is way too much brown. The drinks board still shows prices in Ost-Marks. It feels like everyone's a communist brother or sister, united together in good spirits. Actually, everyone’s a tourist (or pretending to be one) and is probably trying to get laid.

The music is good fun too - mainly because the slide from Indie to Pop just happens so seamlessly and, most importantly, because no one is afraid to dance. Most nocturnal Berliners spend all their night at a club looking for an excuse NOT to dance. And there are so many ways to do that: you can smoke, continuously order cheap drinks or just stand there looking bored and play with your fringe. That’s not the way in Kaffee Burger though. People dance and sweat and kiss.

At about 3am I was standing at the edge of the dance floor looking across to one of the older guys who I had come in with - he was still whipping around like a frog in a blender. Beside me a young American couple, who had just got to know each other, had broken off their snogging and were looking on in amazement: “Who let that bald guy in? He's going crazy!”, she said.

I went home at 5. It was Monday after all.

KdR

This week it's time to re-visit an old stomping ground of mine: Klub der Republik. It's been a long time between drinks at this bar. In fact it's been so long, that as I headed there on the weekend I suddenly started to become a bit concerned that it might have been closed down and made way for a hostel. But - don't worry - it's still there.

For those that haven't been, this bar is reached via a dodgy courtyard on a set of steps made from scaffolding. The first floor ex-ballroom has floor to ceiling glass looking out to the street - and it has the most unique 70s lighting system you've ever seen.

But it's still the same old Klub der Republik. Cheap drinks, good music and everyone very cool - of course. What I always liked about it was that the coolness here seems to have a real "down-to-earthness" about it. For instance, on this occasion, after an hour of sitting around looking cool and not dancing, my friends and I realised we were actually sitting in the middle of a private party. We thought the disapproving looks from the others were just the standard dirty looks that you get in Berlin whenever you walk in anywhere.

But, ah, igad, it was more than that: we'd crashed Leon's 30th birthday party. But when he found out, he had no problem with it. We should just grab some meatballs and cheese and melon skewers, he said. The beer and vodka was free. Now, THAT is the spirit of Christmas.

Look East

Like an annoying sales assistant that just won't leave you alone - the wicked wind from the East is back again this week in Berlin. It's calling card? Biting through all the layers of clothing that you care to put on until your skin feels like it is burning - and then not leaving you in peace until you have returned home and spent 20 minutes under a hot shower.

Most weather experts who subscribe to this blog will probably say that my assessment of Berlin's weather freak-out is scientifically wrong and that "we are actually currently experiencing a low-pressure system over all of western Europe which is being caused by the Gulf Stream and other cloud winds operating between 10,000 and 15,000 feet". But, I have findings that back up my statements you see. Today, I was hanging out at Osthafen on the Spree (skimming rocks on the river) and I couldn't help but notice that the wind was particularly cold when I turned to face an easterly direction. I think that's proof enough.

I am prepared to admit that just about all of Germany is suffering from very cold temperatures at the moment. In fact, EVEN Germany's larger than life ex-goalkeeper Oliver Kahn was grounded in Munich today due to snow and ice at the airport. As a result he wasn't able to take the balls out of the bowl at the 2011 Women's World Cup final draw which took place in Frankfurt tonight. Everyone was very disappointed.

But anyway, back to the topic at hand. I think all of you who have been here in winter know now that Berlin feels 10 degrees colder than anywhere else in Germany .... and I am blaming the winds from the East!

The Bademeister

The great thing about Berlin are the unusual, historical sights that you see when you least expect it. Like when I headed for a swim today at Ernst-Thälmann Park in the east of the city.

This mega-sculpture on Greifswalder Straße depicts one of the former bosses of the German Communist Party, Ernst Thälmann. It is about 15 metres high and made of copper. You don't get sculptures like that anymore. Up close it's a pretty tough-looking piece of work to be honest - especially when half covered in graffiti. But it fits the area quite well, because ETP isn't exactly the most charming of Berlin's public parks. And Thälmann's story isn't such a happy one either: after leading his party from 1925 until 1933, he was arrested by the Gestapo and - after 11 years in isolation - was shot dead on orders from Adolf Hitler in 1944.

Rumour has it that after the "fall of the wall" the sculpture was due to be ripped down. But, as so often happens in Berlin, somehow it hung on and it is now in a bit of a state of limbo - half-loved, half-despised. I, for one, hope that it stays.

"Das Derby"

Just in case you've had your head in the sand the last few months, Berlin's biggest football club, Hertha, are back in the second division this season.

Euroblog's hard working journos have determined that Berlin is the only European capital without representation in it's national first division football competition. We're pretty sure this news is an exclusive.

How did it all happen? After loving Lucien Favre to bits in 2008/2009, Hertha Berlin dumped him early last season after a string of bad results and signed up Friedhelm Funkel. Things went from bad to worse with him at the "helm" and - before you could say Marko Pantelic - the team from the capital was the laughing stock of the country and got demoted.

Hertha's traditional rival meanwhile, Union Berlin, has come from the other direction. The Köpenick-based club has worked its way up from the regional leagues to the second division in three years. After starting strongly last season, they ended their debut period in the middle of the table.

So, what most people thought could never happen, is now reality. Union v Hertha - in the 2nd division. Adding a little bit of extra spice to the all too predictable media beat-up, is the fact that Union come from the former communist east, while Hertha are the traditional West-Berlin club.

The first derby of the season was on Friday. The game, played at the "Stadion an der Alten Försterei", ended in a drab 1-all draw though. Bit of a let down really....especially after such a long article.

The other beer festival...

It's not quite the Oktoberfest, but Berlin's annual Biermeile really is worth a visit if you are in the capital in August. Sure, Karl Marx Allee in East Berlin is a far cry from the Theresienwiese in Munich, but if you look closely you can see a lot of similarities between the two.

For instance, there's plenty of leather involved at both festivals. Lederhosen are a no go in Berlin of course, unless you want to get beaten up. Instead it's the "black leather waistcoat look" often combined with a pair of cheeky denim shorts and socks and sandals. And...the ladies aren't to be outdone. Instead of showing off their best in a Dirndl, the waitresses this year on the Biermeile were wearing the novelty nurse's outfit. Ah, the kulcha!

Food wise, both festivals lean towards the savoury more than the sweet. In Munich it's a Brezn (pretzel) and salty chicken - in Berlin an oversized, gnarled gerkin in a napkin is the snack of choice. A heavily marinated cucumber for one Euro - who could resist?

The beer is flowing from early in the day in both locations - after all, we are in Germany. The Berlin festival prides itself on presenting a range of beers from such "exotic" places as Japan, India and Vietnam as well as boutique beverages from around Germany. In Munich, the Oktoberfest is mainly used as a sales boost for the Bavarian big boys: Löwenbräu, Paulaner and Augustiner. The effect at the end of the day is the same in both cities. The tourists have just about all passed out, while the Germans just bust out to 80's rock'n'roll all night long.

But I did notice an important difference too: in Berlin you go home with some money still in your wallet.